Why Espada Should Not Make Tea
by HeraldHealer
Summary: What happens in Heuco Mundo when Aizen has to send his Espada to the living world to obtain tea. Oneshot, please review.


Day 158

Heuco Mundo

Ran out of tea today. Sent Stark to the living world to acquire more. It should prove interesting to see what variety he brings back.

Day 159

Heuco Mundo

Note to self: Have Gin educate Arrancar on the street names of illicit drugs. While it was indeed interesting watching the Espada after they drank the tea, I know THC is not the main ingredient in actual tea. The entertainment value was diminished by the marked drop in productivity. At least I know that Barragan won't bring _Cannabis sativa_.

Day 160

Heuco Mundo

Although my Espada at least managed to provide tea this time, I believe that Barragan's Earl Grey was more bergamot than actual tea. The Numero who brewed it did not improve the situation when he brewed the entire pack. Perhaps Halibel will do better then the first two.

Day 161

Heuco Mundo

Halibel's Chamomile was refreshing. Unfortunately, it would seem that half of my Espada apparently suffer from hay fever which was triggered by the tea. Pity. While I wouldn't want to drink it exclusively, at least it was drinkable. Surely Ulquiorra will have better success.

Day 162

Heuco Mundo

Ulquiorra brought back the strongest Gunpowder Green I have encountered in at least a century. Unfortunately, the quantity he brought back was insufficient to last more than two days with the entire Espada. Pity, that. I think I'll reserve the remainder of it for myself and see what Nnorita brings back tomorrow.

Day 163

Heuco Mundo

Debating wheither the literacy level of the arrancar needs to be improved. Nnorita's jar of extremely poor instant coffee ,which both looked and tasted like dirt makes me wonder. I believe his exact words were "You add it to hot water and it gets dark, what's the difference?" Knowing Nnorita, explaining would not help unless he could fight it or it would sleep with him. Grimmjow seemed slightly disappointed by the fact Nnorita brought coffee, it should be amusing to see what he brings.

Day 164

Heuco Mundo

I have nothing against Russian Black Tea, when brewed with proper ceremony, and the other necessary ingredients, the sugar, citrus, and occasionally the vodka. But brewed double strength as if it was regular tea, I must admit left it a bit hard to handle. However, it was in fact tea this time, and those Espada still suffering from the after effects of the chamomile have completely cleared their sinuses. I believe I will put the rest with the Gunpowder Green. I sent out Wonderwice for tea, how ever I do not expect him to be returning anytime soon since at the last report he was chasing insects and reflections in the water. I'll send Tousen out to retrieve him in a few days. However, we still need tea. At least Zommari's choice should not be as disastrous as Nnorita's. And should in fact be tea.

Day 165

Heuco Mundo

I am debating forbidding herbals. Eyebright is to be applied externally not to be drunk. At least the herb itself is useful, unlike the coffee. Fortunately, it is not poisonous although it is not palatable either. I must make sure to not be the first to drink tomorrow when Szayel brings the tea.

Day 166

Heuco Mundo

Note to Self: NEVER, NEVER LET GRANZ BRING TEA AGAIN ON PENALTY OF DEATH. I'm not sure which property of the tea was the most disturbing; the fact that it was dark blue and ate through the teapot, that it smelled strongly of bitter almonds and Stark had trouble breathing for nearly an hour after inhaling a small amount of the steam, or simply that Szayel drank the entire pot with relish. The hissing was not a good sign either. On the other hand, Aaroniero can not possibly do worse. He at least knows what tea is.

Day 167

Heuco Mundo

Is it possible to have a split personality if you have two heads? Or does each have its own independent personality? Either way half of the tea was extremely strong and the other half was barely colored water. How he/they managed that feat with one teapot, I cannot venture to guess. It still doesn't change the fact that he only bought back enough Orange Pekoe for one day. Perhaps it was his reverted form, and not the one that resembles Kaein that brewed the tea? And purchased the amount? Must look into that. I thought I had been reasonable specific about the quantity. Yammy's selection should be amusing, if nothing else. I probably should send Tousen out looking for Wonderwice tomorrow.

Day 168

Heuco Mundo

I would have to say that the literacy level of the arrancar is in desperate need of improvement. Unfortunately in Yammy's case, that is most likely imposible. In spite of himself, he did in fact bring a form of tea though. The bush he carried in, pot and all, turned out to be _Ilex paraguariensis._ I believe that he thought it was a tree. Hearing problems, Yammy? While I am not the most fond of yerba matè ,and do not have the proper equipment to brew it before it has been dried, it is used as a form of tea. If nothing else, it seems to be doing well in the corner of my room. In any case, I need to send Gin to the living world tomorrow. Hopefully, he will bring something back. Tousen has not yet returned with Wonderwice.

Day 169

Heuco Mundo

Gin did return with tea. Actual tea, as well as a copious amount of dried persimmons. Unsurprisingly ,his sweet tooth won out on his choice of teas. The tea itself was a base of black tea and rooibos, as well as bean vanilla, and several types of mint. Quite good, in fact. So much so that Gin has appropriated it into his personal stash. It could have been worse, I half expected persimmon tea. Still no sign of Tousen or Wonderwise.

Day 170

Heuco Mundo

Tousen returned with Wonderwice in tow. There will be no need for further tea runs as he brought a considerable quantity of Oolong. Enough to last for a long time for which I am much relieved. With the notable exceptions of Ulquiorra, and possibly Halibel, my Espada do not belong anywhere near the obtaining and making of tea.


End file.
